I'm very sad today. My hairstylist is on leave..!!!!!! Can you believe this..omg...I was so excited yesterday and she's on leave today. Lol. I think I can only make it this Sat. Unless written comm ends early tomorrow I might still have time. Friday is LMS. And I have not decided which day to do IAC. Man. What kind of holiday is this. I thought no activites were supposed to go on. Like real. Sigh* When I think of the clarinet I use in band...it dampens my mood. When I think of the silly comments made by others, I feel really lousy. Previously someone told me "just play lah, don't look down on yourself". I wasn't even looking down on myself. Was she insinuating that she looked down on me. Another said "Eh, don't slack leh." This sentence TOTALLY spoiled my mood. If I had wanted to slack, I wouldn't even turn up for band practice. The thing IS that I couldn't even go to the 3rd running note on time. I couldn't even keep up in the first beat. I couldn't even start playing. Sorry, but I'm very sensitive to comments made by people. Even if I really wasn't playing, I really really wish I could have played. I wish I can play like you guys. I wish I could play along with all of you. But, can you guys please think of how long I have not touched a clarinet. It's almost a year! How good do you guys expect me to be? And when we play songs more suited to the year one students, you guys say "eh, this kind of songs can play meh", "wah lau sian". Can you all be more sensitive to others. Please remember there are year 1 students all around. What kind of impression would you convey? I've sincerely had enough of all these comments made. Weren't you guys ONCE year 1 students? Didn't YOUR seniors lower their standards to accommodate you? Hmm? Didn't YOUR seniors teach you, guide you and befriend you? Hmm??! Weren't YOUR seniors patient with you? Huh? Did you like people throwing silly and untrue words right in your face? Hmm?! I BET you didn't. When I had juniors joining me, I didn't pass silly comments. I didn't say any untrue words. I didn't say "uhhhhh.." when an easier piece was played. In fact, I ENJOYED playing with them because in a way, it was like cultivating stronger bonds among us. It was all about playing in UNISON. It wasn't about who can play RUNNING NOTES or MAJOR DIFFICULT PARTS. IT WAS ABOUT UNITY. A band with good players which doesn't listen to others is NOTHING. Another thing is I hate and I really really HATE the way year 2 and 3 students address us. 'FRESHIES'. This word sounds so irritating, all right? Stop calling us FRESHIES. I rather you guys call us FRESHMEN. I'm sorry. I'm rarely so forth-right. It's just that I couldn't bottle these all up in my heart anymore. No. I would not keep this to myself anymore. I'm sorry if I offended anyone reading this but, rarely does one think of other people's feelings when one is so superior. I apologise for my bluntness. I just hate it when people are so typical. People claim they are nice and kind people but, what is it that they have done that makes them nice and kind? Are they included when they ONCE passed stupid comments? Are they still nice? Can you tell me? If you are one such person, do you really still think you're nice? Hmm?